The other day I was hanging with a male friend and he stated that more and more black women are appearing less feminine, and that we have “an angry” look on our face.
Okay, okay…I was getting angry…but I had to calm myself down. I wanted to know where this brothah was coming from. So, he proceeded to tell me that sistahs aren’t spending the time to fix themselves up…compared to women of other races. We also appear to have a scowl on our face. Okay…okay…calm down… Well I thought about it…and I agreed about the face (for some sistahs). As for looking less feminine…I don’t get it. The last time I looked, the clothing on women were scant. I mean, clothing that barely covers your ass, tits, and your stomach is all out? Don’t get me wrong, I do own a pair of hip-hugging jeans…but to say we’re looking less feminine???
BTW, I do live in metro Atlanta and we were hanging in the city. For those that do not know, Atlanta does have a sizable gay population. Nothing against lesbian sistah’s, but some of these women are “butch.” From what I have seen, butch sistahs generally do not dress sexy (okay..not into scant attire). So, he needs better clarification or education regarding the city that he is in… Let's not forget, the beauty parlor is full of sistahs getting their hair and nails done on a weekly basis.
As for the scowl on the face…well, I have personally met sistah’s who have looked like this, and I myself...went through a period of looking “angry.” Hate to admit when I wrong…but I’ve been wrong. But you know what...this isn't only sistahs, I've seen women of all races look angry. From England to America. I did tell him, that a lot of times the reason why sistah’s look angry is because they are hurt, and they are tired of being hurt. It becomes a revolving cycle…man dogs-out sistah, sistah gets hurt, sistah looks angry, man doesn’t want to approach sistah because she looks angry. Therefore…sistah’s are labeled “angry” (what’s new huh)? So, if men treated sistah’s better, she’d smile, man approaches sistah = happy relationship. Basically, men need to take responsibility for the pain that they cause…it’s not all one-sided. There’s a Ying and Yang in everything…
There is another flip to the story. I’ve seen sistahs looking angry because of "sistah-to-sistah" hate. Yeah, I said it, “sistah-to-sistah” hate. What could be the reason…some dumb crap like; she’s light-skinned, she’s got “good” hair, all the guys want her, "I just hate her because I hate her!" It all boils down to dumb-crap. What are we teaching our children?!?! I grew up in a small town (Bedford, England) and women would cut their eye and suck their teeth as you walked by. In fact, the women in this town are still doing this… Sadly, this has even passed down to the younger generation. These fools are making-up gossip when there is no gossip. GET A JOB, OR READ A DARN BOOK! VOLUNTEER, DO SOMETHING POSITIVE. I can’t stand hateful people. They are the most dumbest, ignorant, bunch of fools. Sadly, my girlfriend of 30+ years is still enduring this crap in our small town.
WORD TO THE WISE: Smile…everyday is hard, but smile. I know, you may attract some “fool” if you smile, but you may miss out on a great relationship… Don’t hate someone because of the way they look, she could have been your best friend. While you’re busy hating, don’t complain when someone else starts hating you. Hater’s never win. You can attract more flies with honey then with vinegar…
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3 comments:
Sometimes women are angry because we do all the work and we're just tired! We raise kids (by ourselves - even if you are married let's be for real)we care more deeply and therefore are more prone to getting hurt - not just by men but by humankind in general... but the one thing I've learned through the process of growing is to try not to take anything personally. There will be days when folks just aren't nice - so what - just keep it moving and understand that when people "hate" it's because they need to be loved the most.
AMEN TO THIS! Thank-you.
As a light skinned , green-eyed recipient of much sister to sister hate, I've learned that unfortunately its a rare "sistah" that can be my sister. Like many of our "brothas" I'm just tired of dealing with other women's insecurities. Grown up and fix whatever you don't like about you Haters . . .
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